20th June 2009,
11.15pm, blogging from Singapore, sitting on the couch, full blast fan blowing on my red rosy face.. thinking how to put my thoughts in words. It has been 3 weeks working in Singapore. And in a new environment; totally reverse and so vast different. Work has been fast pace and I am trying to catch up fast. Chasing after time. Singapore pharmacists work very hard, unlike Malaysia.. Here nurses are pampered, the opposite I think pharmacists are overloaded. However, according to my senior pharmacist, the learning curve is huge and the experience are rewarding.
I really miss home. Don't know why, I can miss home every weekends, miss mum more when I received her sms or even talk to her. Miss my friends in Penang, my hospital and the familiar ground. Here everything new, and I really hate traveling with public transport. 3 weeks has gone yet I still not used to it. Am I making myself more tiring by hating the change? Reflecting back, my heels were bleeding and full of blisters first day of work, walking a lot. 4th day I fell down on the roadside because of the cheap high heel shoe, thus injured my left knee -bleed. Now, guess my skin growing thicker, and slowly trained to get used to the abrasion and force.
All that has happened, each wrapped with every new adventures as the day passed by. As I tried to settle down in my workplace and sort of getting more familiar with the workflow, there suddenly comes a call from my boss assisstant asking me to meet boss during lunch. Thought maybe he wants to see my progress after more than 2 weeks of work, but to my surprise.. he has something more challenging for me. He wants me to take up a new portfolio, to be Inpatient In Charged. Hey, are You kidding me, Lord? I am just so happily out of the Management position, and now less than a month of working in unknown world, this man who don't even know much about me asking me to be In-Charged? You must be joking man... I almost fall off my chair. And this man in front of me was non stop 'preaching' to me about You and that whatever his achievement is all because of You. Oh man... What should be my response?
Searching my heart, I never wanted to be Manager, can I just be a normal submissive worker or co-worker who can just take instruction from superior and perform whichever task allocated for me? Maybe God knows am too easily get contented and complacent and He wants to push me further, to extend my tent, to test my limitation?
Lord, can You please give me a break, not this one Lord.. Can I say No, No, No please No.. But if it's Your Will, and really it's You, then let Your Will be done, and not my will. Lord, if it is really from You, You got to help me pull it through, this not gonna be easy, am dealing with Singaporean and International Standard. You enable me, not because I am able, but You are Lord, You are. The days ahead gonna be really challenging, help me to appreciate the journey and not just focus on the destination.. and I am gonna journey it with Him, You who are in me, is greater than those who is in the world.
